There’s a lot we don’t know about people until we spend more time with them. There are a ton of surprising things you can learn about the folks you care about—and human beings in general—when you see how they behave when they let their guard down. It turns out all of us have lots in common, something many of us probably already suspected.
In a viral discussion on the popular r/AskMen online group, men revealed all of the things that they didn’t know about women before they started going out. Their answers were incredibly honest and a great antidote for anyone who’s prone to putting others on a pedestal while dating. Scroll down to read these internet users’ personal experiences.
#1
How much they shed
Image credits: No-Strawberry-5541
#2
I learned how much I like being a man. I mean, having a period sounds terrible. Childbirth is something I’m glad I’ll never experience
Image credits: ragingliberty
#3
How much toilet paper they consume. When I was living alone an 8 pack of toilet paper lasted me like a year. Once she moved in I was buying at least an 8 pack a month. You've been warned.
Image credits: iconoclast63
Like it or not, most of us have a public persona (or a few), as well as a private one. We behave slightly differently depending on who we’re interacting with. So we might act one way at the office. We’re someone slightly different in front of our friends. We probably wouldn’t speak to our parents the way we did with our pals or coworkers. And we’re someone else entirely when we’re trying to impress someone.
However, slowly, we let our guard down around people. It takes time and trust to do so, but we let them in. If they’re special enough, we show them what we’re like when we’re alone, without any pretense.
#4
how long it takes to put on makeup, shower, and get ready to do anything
Image credits: DM-Me-Your-Feet-
#5
That taking the pill really is a wild ride and can seriously impact some girls' behavior and wellbeing.
Image credits: AEnesidem
#6
- That they often feel obligated to do stuff they don’t want to do by their family, friends and just random people and they feel really guilty if they don’t do those things.- That they feel a lot of pressure to look and act certain ways. Getting dressed can be really overwhelming sometimes.
- That they are often so critical of themselves that you’d be shocked to hear their inner voice.
- That the shower can never be hot enough.
- That they need way more sleep than us.
- That they care a lot about detail and want to share that detail with you when they debrief the day.
- That they have an insatiable appetite for being held, cuddled, and snuggled.
- That giving them regular orgasms is great for their mood and the relationship in general.
- That a fridge full of food will be somehow calming to them despite the grocery bill being soul crushing to you.
- That their feet are always various levels of cold ranging from corpse-dug-up-from-snowdrift cold to deep-sea-tuna-on-ice cold.
- That the facts of a situation will be interpreted in different ways depending on their feelings at the time.
- That they strangely stay friends with other women who are lowkey mean to them.
- That they remember every f****d up thing you’ve ever done or said.
- That taking the pill can really mess with them.
- That it isn’t enough just to do things for them because they ask you to. You need to want to do it without them having to ask. That’s how they know you care.
Image credits: TheGameForFools
That raw image of what we’re like when nobody’s around can gently shock people, even if they behave similarly in their own private lives. This reaction can be at least partly explained by the expectations that people place on their partners when they first start dating.
They might start idealizing them and putting them on a pedestal. Focusing on other people’s positive qualities can be a good thing, but it can be very unhealthy if you completely ignore their negative aspects as well. If you hype yourself up over dating someone, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
#7
How often I am wrong about basically everything.
Image credits: jimjimbobim
#8
Evidently, you're not supposed to put bras in the dryer. They turn into shrinky d***s. And bras are expensive to replace.
Image credits: NickTesla2018
#9
Hair, hair everywhere.
Image credits: Jack_Marsta
For one, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because you will eventually realize that they’re not a ‘perfect’ partner or human being (nobody is). On the flip side, you’re also adding a ton of pressure on your date to behave a certain way. It can be very frustrating when you feel forced to live up to someone’s impossibly high expectations. It’s good to have standards, but keep your expectations somewhat realistic!
Meanwhile, if you want to learn more about your partner, there is no better alternative than open and honest communication. You won’t form a deep connection with them if you’re not willing to talk about the mundane stuff and their quirks, not just exciting global topics and other people.
#10
They always want to be doing something. If they’re not they’re making plans for what we’re gunna be doing.
Image credits: RedSonGamble
#11
They can also be slobs and (while the human body and bodily processes aren't gross) they can be just as gross as men.
Image credits: usernamescifi
#12
How sentimental they are. Buying flowers is an odd exercise to me since I don’t *get* it, but my partner’s been moved to tears multiple times because of it.
Image credits: JM1210
The key to good communication is learning to listen to what the other person is telling you. If you’re simply waiting for your turn to speak, you’re doing something wrong.
For some more surprising things that men learned about women only after they got into relationships, check out Bored Panda’s previous feature.
#13
That when they vent, the solution is sometimes just to listen
Image credits: anon
#14
The amount of hair bands that will appear out of nowhere. They multiply all over the place!
Image credits: Alert-Athlete
#15
I had no idea many women slather on moisturizer over most of their body after every single shower. Still pretty mind blowing tbh.#16
The smell of period blood and it can fall out in clots.
Image credits: Havib3
#17
Fake eyelashes.I’m an idiot
Image credits: NIN-pig
#18
Y’all like crime shows too damn much it makes me nervous
Image credits: XxMJBROWNIIxX
#19
The insane cost of feminine hygiene products or makeup. I wonder about the numbers because the production costs can’t be that high.Also why don’t women’s clothes sizes make any sense at all? It doesn’t seem standardized or rational within a given store/brand let alone across brands on the same clothing type.
I can buy a polo or tee shirt in my size and most of the ones I like, regardless of brand or store, fit me pretty well and about the same.
I had no idea women’s clothing had so much variation.
Image credits: JCP76
#20
How much what dream they had that night changes their entire day.
Image credits: thatVisitingHasher
#21
How sacred their space is to them. In my apartment I couldn't care less where you put things as long as it makes sense. Hell, I don't even have a set place for where everything goes, and often decide to put things where they make sense at the time I'm putting them away.
But in a woman's apartment, God forbid you put a brush in the comb-drawer.
Image credits: Scrufftar
#22
They set alarms for birth control.#23
That they can fart, and if they're sitting the right way, it travels forward, up through their labia, and comes out the front side.This took me a long time to get over learning.
#24
I’ll add something I don’t see that I didn’t understand:Childhood trauma.
I understand that this can happen to men, but the number of women I’ve had serious relationships with who ended up struggling with severe trauma when they were younger has been eye-opening.
It dictates parts of the relationship you don’t even realize. Certain things you do can set off triggers that you may have never been aware of. You can end up doing damage to someone who you deeply care about by accident. It could be a simple touch when trying to initiate and without appropriate definitions or communication it can be really devastating.
Then, you begin to piece things together:
“Oh, now I get why she used sex to get my attention.”
“Oh, now I understand why this person has no interest in sex”
It’s just something that’s really personal and difficult. Something people don’t realize they’ve dealt with. And then they need to battle through it and try to heal themselves.
It’s just something I didn’t ever deal with as a guy and I’m both selfishly thankful I’m a man and heartbroken these things happen.
#25
A women urinates with the power of a water cannon#26
I had no idea what a pain periods and the cramping and the mood swings were until I married a girl who had a bad week every single month and then menopause….omg! I’m glad I’m a guy.#27
The white gooy stuff that stains their underwear#28
How much they get “hollered at.” Not sure if it’s universal but def seems to be the case in a big city.#29
Moustaches#30
I remember being shocked that my first girlfriend *also* enjoyed me touching her boobs.#31
How damn gross they're. Its like having a pet. Hair everywhere, weird shedding in the bathroom. Tampons... so many tampons... farts 10x then anything you can imagine... the nail picking... eyelashes hidden like spiders...It's a damn horror story and I love it.
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