I’m not sure what’s worse: being a teenager girl or being the mother of a teenage girl. Hormones are raging, and as we grow and realize we’re starting to resemble our mothers more and more, tensions tend to reach an all-time high. Thankfully, the conflicts between teen girls and their moms don’t often last for long.
But for one mother, the behavior of her daughter’s late teenage years is still impacting their relationship years later. Below, you’ll find a post that this frustrated mother recently shared on Reddit, wondering if she’s wrong for allowing her daughter to move back in with her only under certain conditions.
There are few things more powerful on Earth than a parent’s love for their children
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
But after years of her daughter denying her existence, this mother is hesitant to suddenly provide her with a place to stay
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Addendum1149
Later, the mom responded to readers and provided additional information on the situation
It has become increasingly common for adult children to move back in with their parents during recent years
Ask almost any parent, and they’ll tell you that the love they have for their children is unconditional. And while that doesn’t necessarily mean that they want their kids living with them forever, some moms and dads don’t seem to mind. According to Bloomberg, a recent survey found that nearly half of all young adults in the US are currently living with their parents.
Almost 90% of those surveyed also believe that we shouldn’t judge others for having to move back in with Mom and Dad. In fact, it’s now seen by many as a way to get ahead, as they can spend months or even years saving up money rather than putting it all towards rent and groceries.
The illusion of the American Dream has been dwindling in recent years, as living costs rise and salaries seem to stay stagnant, and the pandemic pushed many young adults to move back home. Three quarters of those surveyed say that young Americans are “stuck navigating a broken economic situation that prevents them from being financially successful.”
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
But parents are recommended to set some ground rules before letting their kids become their roommates
While there’s no shame in the “moving back in with Mom” game, it doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t set any boundaries with their kids. When adult children ask to become roommates with their parents, PsychCentral recommends that parents set expectations and negotiate boundaries upfront to ensure that the transition is as smooth as possible.
It can also be wise to ask the kids to contribute to the household, whether that means paying rent, buying groceries, taking on extra chores or helping out with bills, they shouldn’t necessarily get a free ride, even at Mom and Dad’s. Parents should be careful not to micromanage their kids, though.
It can be difficult to adjust if the last time your children lived at home was when they were teens, but parents have to remember that their kids are adults now. They need freedom to go out and socialize without filling Mom and Dad in on every detail, and they don’t need anyone standing over their shoulder critiquing how they sweep the floor or saute vegetables.
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
Nearly half of us will become estranged from a family member at some point
Unfortunately, parents and children can’t always maintain the loving and peaceful relationships that they once did, and sometimes this leads to kids choosing to go no contact. According to a study from The University of Southern California, about 7% of adult children are estranged from their mothers, and over a quarter report being estranged from their fathers. In fact, as many as 43% of people say they’ve been estranged from at least one family member at some point.
This can happen due to a variety of reasons, but according to Westmoreland Psychotherapy Associates, it’s best for parents to focus on what’s actually in their control and recognize that their child’s choice to go no contact might not actually be about them. Practicing positive coping skills and working with a family therapist may be helpful for parents dealing with estrangement from their children as well.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it was fair for this mother to set some ground rules before her daughter moves in with her? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing adult children living with their parents, we recommend this one next!
Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)
Many readers assured the mother that she has every right to enforce rules with her daughter
However, some thought that she was being too petty
And others urged the mom to approach the situation with more empathy
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