Many of the ways we celebrate holidays are aimed at giving our children magical days: Santa sneaking into the chimney with presents, trick-or-treating in fabulous costumes, and the Easter Bunny hiding valuable eggs in the yard. But adults should be allowed to enjoy holidays too, right?
One mother posted on the “Am I the Jerk?” subreddit detailing how she opted out of her family’s Easter celebration because it was going to be all about the kids, as per usual, and she just wanted some adult time. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
Once you’re a parent, it’s natural for the kids to become the focus on holidays
Image credits: halfpoint (not the actual photo)
But after requesting some time for the adults to catch up on Easter, this mother did not receive the response she was hoping for
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: nogoyolo
Later, the mom responded to some comments and provided additional information on the situation
Celebrating holidays can become a bit more stressful once you have children to consider
Becoming a parent changes every aspect of a person’s life, including holidays. All of a sudden, you have to consider these tiny humans that you’re raising before yourself, and days like Christmas and Halloween may become completely different from how you celebrated them with only adults. Easter, in particular, is a great day for kids to have an Easter egg hunt, dye eggs, break confetti eggs, receive an Easter basket, bake goodies with mom and dad and enjoy the sugar rush of all of the sweets the family has provided. As wonderful as all of these experiences can be for your little ones, and for you to watch your kids enjoy, it can be challenging navigating how to have fun on holidays yourself.
To learn more about how parents can survive holidays with small children, we consulted this article from The Muse, where Rikki Rogers breaks down some of her top tips for making holidays “more of a celebration and less of a series of logistical nightmares.” One suggestion she notes is that back-up childcare counts as quality family time. It’s likely that your parents and your in-laws are thrilled to spend time with their grandchildren, so why not take advantage of that to spend some bonding time of your own with your siblings? It’s a win-win for everyone, as the kids get some much needed grandparent time, and you have the chance to relax with your partner or family members without constantly worrying about who needs a snack or a diaper change or who wants to play a board game right now.
But it’s possible for our little ones to enjoy these special days without taking away the adults’ fun
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Amy Webb, PhD, also recommends thinking and planning ahead before bringing your little ones to a family gathering. She says it’s important to consider your child’s temperament and how they may react when in a crowded social situation, as well as knowing how to quit when you’re ahead. If your kids have been having a great time, but you anticipate a meltdown coming soon, it might be time to start saying your goodbyes and get home. Parents must understand age-appropriate expectations as well. “Try not to expect your toddler to act like a 10-year-old at a big social gathering,” Amy writes. Bring along toys, snacks, coloring books, etc. that will help keep your little ones occupied while you chat with the adults, and be on the lookout for anything that hasn’t been kid-proofed in your loved ones’ homes.
Amy also recommends that parents have a “pre-event debriefing” before going to any holiday gathering, so the children understand what’s going to happen and what’s expected of them. Let them know as many details as possible about who’s going to be there, what’s on the agenda, how long you plan to be there and more. “Kids love routine, and it helps them to know when something big is happening that is outside the normal routine. This also helps clarify any rules beforehand so there isn’t any confusion about expectations,” Amy writes. Plus, this is a great time to request from your kids that you have some alone time with just the adults, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Parents should also remember the value of maintaining healthy sibling relationships in adulthood
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Adults should be able to enjoy holidays too, and although parents are concerned about their kids having a wonderful day, they shouldn’t have to sacrifice their own fun. Many of us don’t have the luxury of gathering with our relatives frequently, so holidays can be a great time to catch up and bond with one another. In fact, maintaining healthy relationships with our siblings, even in adulthood, can be very important to our health and wellbeing. “In a study of older adult siblings, [Megan] Gilligan, PhD, found participants generally reported high levels of warmth and low levels of conflict. Sister-sister pairs were especially likely to report warm relationships,” Kirsten Weir writes for the American Psychological Association.
“Warm sibling relationships, in turn, seemed to protect against loneliness,” Weir goes on to note. “However, older adults who reported more sibling conflict and parental favoritism in adulthood were more likely to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, hostility, and loneliness.” “Siblings are really influential in mental health, well beyond childhood and adolescence,” Dr. Gilligan says. As much as we love our children, it’s important not to put all of our own personal relationships on the backburner just for them, as the healthier and happier we are, the more our children will benefit. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother made the right choice to skip her Easter gathering? And if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing Easter drama, look no further than right here.
Many readers assured the mother that she wasn’t being unreasonable, noting that she deserves time with her sisters
The post “I Really Can’t Sit Through Another Kid-Centric Get-Together”: Mom Opts Out Of Her Family’s Easter Gathering first appeared on Bored Panda.
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