There are certain times in our lives when we want to celebrate with all of our loved ones nearby. Graduating from university, getting married, having a baby, or moving into our dream house might be a few of these exciting milestones. And while it’s not always possible to be around for each and every occasion our friends and family members celebrate, it’s still nice to receive an invitation, right?
Well, according to one woman on TikTok, it can actually be more offensive to receive an invitation than nothing at all, when it comes from someone who hasn’t made enough effort to maintain the friendship. Below, you’ll find a video that Lanette, or HotMessLanette on TikTok, recently shared detailing why she refuses to attend certain people’s milestone celebrations.
Her video has left viewers split, so you’ll also find some of the responses people have shared agreeing with Lanette or challenging her ideas, and you can decide for yourself how close a friend has to be to deserve your presence (and presents) at their major events. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring drama surrounding the decision of whether or not to attend a loved one’s important event, look no further than right here.
This TikToker has gone viral after sharing that she refuses to attend people’s milestones unless they regularly put effort into maintaining their friendship
Image credits: hotmesslanette_xo
Image credits: hotmesslanette
Image credits: hotmesslanette
Image credits: hotmesslanette
Image credits: hotmesslanette
You can hear Lanette’s full explanation right here
@hotmesslanette soooo ya. #fyp #family #christmas ♬ original sound – lanette.
I completely understand that friendships take effort, and you can’t always expect loved ones to prioritize your relationship with them if you haven’t been putting in any effort. But at the same time, life gets busy. If you don’t live in the same place as your friends from college, it’s going to be a lot more challenging to invite them over for girls’ night or grab brunch with them once a month. That doesn’t have to mean that the relationship is over.
When an important occasion, such as a wedding or baby shower, comes up, you can still make the effort to be there to remind your friend how much they mean to you. Plus, the older we get, the more obligations we accumulate. With pets, children, spouses, demanding jobs and more, it can take an enormous amount of effort and planning to get a weekend away or find time to hang out. It doesn’t mean that the friendship is any less valuable.
When it comes to who to invite to your big milestones, it’s completely up to you. It is an invitation after all, not a requirement. If someone wants to turn it down, they certainly can. But everyone has a slightly different opinion on who is obligated to receive an invite to an important event. According to Lindsey Nickel, owner and event planner at Lovely Day Events, “If you haven’t laid eyes on a person in 12 to 18 months—or at least had a nice, long phone conversation if they live far away—then you probably shouldn’t invite them.”
However, it’s your big day. So if someone is important to you, there’s no timeline on the last time you must have spoken to them. Shoot them an invite anyway! One bride-to-be expressed on A Practical Wedding that she was unsure if it would be strange to invite old friends to her wedding, but she noted, “They are people that have brought great joy in my life and frankly, I’d just love to party with them on the big day.” Readers overwhelmingly assured her that she can invite whoever she likes and encouraged her to reach out to them.
One of the points some people who agreed with Lanette’s video mentioned is that people tend to send out more invites to events that require bringing a gift to attend. And while that may be true, it’s also extremely expensive to throw huge celebrations, so the gifts might not be on the forefront of these hosts’ minds. Of course, no one will ever know your own friendships as well as you do, so it’s completely up to you whether or not to attend. But I would guess that most wedding, baby shower and housewarming party invites come from a good place.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this video in the comments below, pandas. Do you go out of your way to celebrate the milestones of old friends or people who you don’t see regularly? Feel free to share your opinions, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring drama surrounding whether or not to attend a wedding, you can find that story right here.
Many viewers agreed that only close friends should be invited to these occasions
However, others pointed out that we don’t all have time to keep in touch constantly, but that doesn’t have to minimize the value of a friendship
The post Woman Refuses To Go To Weddings And Baby Showers If The People Are Not Interested In Her On A Daily Basis first appeared on Bored Panda.
from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/kV02n91
