87 Hilariously Unfortunate Names Parents Actually Give Their Children, According To People In This Thread

Names are given to us at birth and are with us for the rest of our lives, so a lot of people would probably agree they're quite important. Before naming their child, parents usually look into the meaning and origin of the name. Some even think about if it's easy to make fun of the name. However, some parents seem like they don't care at all about that stuff and have come up with the most ridiculous ideas.

A Redditor asked fellow internet users: "What baby name immediately makes you lose all respect for the parents and why?" And loads delivered interesting answers. It's hard to believe some parents actually gave their kids these names. From Golden Sagon to Chardonnay or even Tequila, their creativity doesn't cease to amaze us.

Scroll down to see some really interesting choices parents made! And if you want more articles like this, click here or here.

#1

Mike but short for Micycle.

Image credits: BurningHuman

#2

Any name as alcohol. Chardonnay, Tequila, etc. Saw those a lot as a teacher. Had a male student named Crash Danger. Not kidding.

Image credits: Tanyaschmidt

We got an interview with baby name expert Emma Waterhouse and she graciously answered some questions for us. To start off, Emma shared some thoughts about whether it's important to have the 'perfect' baby name for your kids: "The 'perfect name' is really in the eye of the beholder! We all come to the naming process with different tastes and requirements, so what is perfect for one family won't necessarily work for another. But I do think it's important to consider how your chosen name will wear throughout a lifetime. Our name is generally the first thing new people learn about us, and whether we like it or not people do make assumptions based on names, often subconsciously. A name is the first gift you give your child as a parent, so of course you want it to serve them well no matter where life takes them."

#3

Nevaeh is the most obnoxious to me (please explain that it's heaven backward again, so clever)

However, I've met a baby named Felonee and that takes the cake.

Image credits: Derp_State_Agent

#4

All the names with X thrown in the middle or even two. Jaxxtley. Braxxton. Braxley. I hate them.

Image credits: WorkRedditUsername69

Emma W. shared her own favorite and least favorite names: "I have a longer surname and I come from a multicultural family, so my preferred names are generally quite short, simple, and easily pronounceable in multiple languages. I tend to prefer names that are known but not too common – a combination that so many parents are looking for! Some of my personal favorite names include Vita, Caro and Ines for girls; Felix, Caspar and Ivo for boys."

#5

Joaux (Joe) is a personal favorite ?

Image credits: Themissrebecca103

#6

I know someone who named their kid Chozyn. The kid wasn’t adopted either.

Image credits: Stabyouup666

Bored Panda also asked the expert if it's better to have a common or unique name: "Unique or common is really a matter of personal preference, although you might want to take surname and/or sibling names into account. If you already have a Zephyr and an Artemis, name your third baby John and he might feel a little short-changed! Likewise, if your surname is simple and common, like Smith or Lopez, you can afford to go a little more adventurous in the first name spot. Arabella Smith feels more distinctive and memorable than Anne Smith."

#7

Horribly misspelled to seem different. The irony is that my boyfriend's name is Krysteffor

Image credits: quinnk1n

#8

Got a student named “Yeyson”. The mom got pissed when I was saying “ Yay-son”. She yells at me “It’s Jason like English!” Well lady, maybe f*****g spell it like English then.

Image credits: dopiestsalt

Emma W. also shared what baby-naming trends she completely disagrees with: "Having worked with many families with a wide variety of naming styles over the years, I can honestly say that I can see the appeal in almost any name at this point, even those that I would never choose for myself. The trend that most confuses me is probably the respelling of very common names to make them more 'unique'. There are so many unusual and unconventional names out there – there's more variety than ever before in the American baby name pool right now – that it seems a shame to just respell one of the top names to achieve that. After all, when in the playground or at school, the name will still sound very popular, even if the spelling is different."

#9

I have seen the rise of Brinlee or Brynlee latelty.. ugh

ALSO DEN names

Hayden, Braiden, Kayden, Jayden, Zayden. etc.. The live Laugh Love type names

Image credits: One-Butterscotch-786

We also wondered if parents should take the meaning of the name into consideration: "For me personally, meaning isn't a priority, but a really bad meaning might put me off. Think Cameron, which means 'crooked nose', or Gulliver, 'glutton'! But many of the families we work with as part of our name consulting service are looking for a specific meaning, which might be something with family or cultural significance, or perhaps something that gives a subtle nod to their journey to parenthood. An example might be the name Iris, meaning 'rainbow', which is often considered by parents who have experienced a previous loss, to represent hope and beauty after adversity."

And if you're not sure what to name your baby, consider visiting the website Emma works for the perfect baby names!

#10

Anything spelled unconventionally. My cousin named her kid Micaiah. It’s pronounced like Micah, but the kid’s going to have to spend his whole life telling people it’s not “Mike-ay-uh”. Or he could just go by Mike.

Image credits: UnderwhelmingAF

#11

My brother once had clients named Jerry and Mary Derryberry. We didn’t believe him so he took a picture of whatever account papers. (Don’t even remember what his job was at the time, who gives a s**t). But the series of events to have a married couple be named Jerry and Mary Derryberry is just so delicious.

Image credits: Jibber_Fight

#12

When AL Gore was VP, I had a meeting with him. There was a lawyer speaking on the panel. Her name was Baby Girl Smith. She had not let a dumb name hold her back.

Image credits: Cesum-Pec

#13

There's a kid who goes to a daycare near where I work named "Stone Blaze" but answers to "Hunter." The worst part is that he's a junior; his father has the same name.

Image credits: ShindigJohnnyPunk

#14

I used to be on tumblr back in the day of Supernaturals glory, and someone named their poor child "Destiel". I get it, you like the ship. But you have an actual child that is TOTALLY gonna be pissed you named your kid after a fictional relationship on a show about demons and other supernatural things. The lack of respect or forethought like???

Image credits: Niburu-Illyria

#15

Worked at a hospital for many years. One of the obstetric nurses had to talk a new mom out of naming her child “Urethra”.

Image credits: Farbeer

#16

Khaleesi.

You absolute morons

Image credits: WestCoastWaster

#17

When I was working at a motel, I took a phone reservation from a woman for her daughter: Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A... is the name of a woman. Me: Oh, like in the country! Woman: What do you mean, country?!

Image credits: Beneficial_Donut_998

#18

I work in health care so looking at 40-70 charts everyday I see so many ridiculous a*s spellings for normal names.

You’re not creative you’re an idiot. If you’re creative pick a creative name don’t butcher the spelling of a normal name.

Example: Avery spelled Aevuhree

Image credits: Chuggs400

#19

I knew a girl just out of high school, her name was dymond, her daughter was safire (diamond and Sapphire for those playing along at home). This is the result of multiple generations of teen pregnancy, and non participation in spelling bees.

I respect the attempt, but maybe if daughters didn't become mothers until they were out of their teenage years they might've reconsidered their name choices.

Off subject, but my wife is friends with a teen mom who became a grandma at 33. 4 generations of teen moms with all daughters, no sons, no boyfriends, no brothers, or fathers living under one roof. Great great grandma was 67 at the time.

Image credits: turningfoodintopoop

#20

Frank Zappa named his daughter Moon Unit which probably sucked for her in school.

Image credits: Radiowave2k

#21

When I were younger, I had a girl in my class named Cookie. Only to find out she had younger siblings named (I kid you not these are their real names) Candy, Honey and Skippy.

Image credits: Gullible_Eggplant_67

#22

Here in Brazil people like to name their kids with a portuguese version of common US names. For example, we can find a lot of Brians written as “Braian”. Or Jasons written as “Jeison” or “Jeisson”.

Image credits: aa1997112

#23

My neighbors named their new baby, Master. They are white.

Image credits: VinkyStagina

#24

A guy running for some office near me is named Rocky Rhodes.

How does one look at their tiny newborn and think…. “Rocky! Looks like a Rocky to me. And you know how much I love ice cream!”

Image credits: nahteviro

#25

So I have a friend (American) who was born in Saudi because her dad and mom were there for work. Because they didn't let the mom do any of the paperwork and because the dad panicked when doing the paperwork, her name is Meggan. Because her dad legit didn't know how to spell Megan.

Image credits: JL9berg18

#26

Any of Nick Cannon's kids' names. They are all so over the top bad.

Moroccan, Monroe, Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Zion Mixolydian, Zillion Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Legendary Love, Onyx Ice Cole and Zen.

Why?

Image credits: cinnamongreen

#27

Anything that’s way off from a traditional spelling. I still hold a grudge about having been a child who was never able to find a souvenir with her name on it.

Image credits: Ally_F

#28

Two little boys drew me a couple pictures while their mother was getting some dental work done. They had signed their names. The names were just so…odd. Even after repeating them and writing them I still couldn’t figure out what the names were.
When the mother came out and saw them, she ripped them down from where I had taped them, crumpled them up and put the papers in her purse. She told me that those names she gave them were invented by her and copyrighted.

I wish I were joking. Those little kids looked crushed.
Edit: spelling

Image credits: Swimming_Bowler6193

#29

The only one I've witnessed in real life was some woman yelling at her daughter in the grocery store: "Starlet"

It makes me predict endless beauty pageants, forced auditions, and her mother living her dreams vicariously through her.

Image credits: Symnestra

#30

My wife and I joke that, Sarah is short for Triceratop.

Tera is short for Pterodactyl.

#31

LaTrina. I honestly saw that name somewhere.

#32

I know a woman who named her daughter She-Ra

#33

Caillou. I hate that kid

#34

A girl I know, her name is Baby Sasha. She said we can call her baby.. Her parents were clearly lazy to come up with a proper name.

#35

Brantley, Bentley, Brittleigh, Braxton, Bella, Kayden, Xaden, Zayden... and any of these f*****g teen-mom names that abound now.

While I give OG "Aiden" a break, it was the precursor to a lot of the shite names we have now-a-days.

Oh, almost forgot... Keith.

#36

Parents who essentially give their kids the same first name as their last name. Robert Roberts, William Williams, etc. (I know one of each in real life). It seems purposefully cruel.

#37

Any "Junior". The child spends the rest of their life having to deal with bureaucracy confusing them with their father.

I see it all the time at my job. Tickets, accidents, collections calls, misapplied payments, bankruptcies all being put on the wrong person because they have the same name.

#38

Ichigo, Naruto, Sasuke, Saitama or any popular anime character names

#39

I know of a girl who named her baby Kevlar. And if I'm not mistaken she had the baby in prison where she was serving time for being the getaway driver in a robbery/shooting. Classy af

#40

Tom, but it’s short for Tomothy. And Tim, but it’s short for Thimas.

#41

Personally, I can't stand names that represent some virtue, value, or state of being.

Chastity, Destiny, etc.

Also, Anna and Elsa trigger me in a post-frozen world.

#42

Personally…I’ll never understand how someone can look a baby in the eye and decide their name should be Larry

#43

Made up names or made up spellings of names.

JKMNOP (Pronounced “Noel”)

La-A (Ladasha)

The parents are setting these kids up to fail.

#44

Anything -den/dan/don. Even worse: -dyn

#45

Renesmee. If you name your child that, I don't trust you.

#46

Zealand.
Who names their child “sea land” when a) they have never been to New Zealand and b) didn’t even realize this was a country in the world. And c)they have nothing that relates to being a sea farer, boater, navy personnel, have not lived by the sea, nothing to connect them with the sea. “We just love how it sounds…” No.

Also. The name Razzabella….no explanation needed.

#47

Reighfyl, pronounced "rifle"

Image credits: KickNo2069

#48

I used to work data entry & once entered in a patient name J’Adore. My only thought is the parents were watching tv & the perfume commercial came on & they were like “oh that’s a fancy name for our daughter”

#49

Parents that name their children after their fandoms or favourite fictional characters. It’s obviously fine if they pick a ‘normal’ name like Luke or Ben, but please don’t call your kid Khaleesi or something that is going to literally rob them of their own identity.

#50

So much anxiety reading this comments and PRAYING my kid's names aren't listed by anyone.

But to answer the question, any name ending with -leigh. That's an immediate red flag that I don't want to be friends with those parents.

#51

Relatively benign names spelled like a cat puked on the keyboard and keys got stuck..



Sorry, Axchleeigha, I f*****g hate your parents..

#52

Brynlee

#53

Youandi. It stands for you and i :( horrible.

#54

The quirky/cutesy spellings of names like Bryttanee, Mykayleigh. Or the names that will get their sons beat up during recess: Ryeful, Hemi, Leaf, Forrest.

#55

Names of foreign countries. A guy at my school had three sisters. Named Russia, China and Montana and I wish I was joking. We are all from Canada.

#56

Shadynasty (pronounced Shuh-dynasty). My brother and I had a real falling out in the sixties over her.

#57

Pubert.

#58

Anything having to do with royalty or religious hierarchy titles. Lord, King, Queen, Saint, etc...

#59

My job is in ancestry and I saw that someone named their kid Burden once. Maybe they’re super religious. Feel bad for the kid.

#60

Any name after a car or luxury brand.

I see a girl name Lexus and imagine IS300 tattooed on her lower back.

#61

Any name that ends in ayden. It's just so tacky and overdone.

#62

In Sweden (and I’m guessing around scandinavia), we have a girl’s name called Barbro. Barbro. In English it’s weird, and in Swedish it’s always the name of an old lady. Don’t name your daughters Barbro, it’s just not cool.

#63

I’m sorry but Chastity

#64

Princess, Queen, etc.

#65

Gonna go against the grain here, the names that really irk me are the double names. Like “Susie-Ellen, or Martha-May” like middle names already exist, you don’t need a hyphenated first name. I used to work with a summer camp and so many girls had double names.

#66

The parents who named that poor kid "Gaylord"

#67

Kash. The name of a car manufacturer/model are some for me

#68

Rednecks who name thier sons Gauge, Ryfle, Remington, Colt and any other hunting related stupid s**t.

#69

Adolf was okay before 1940. Now not so popular

#70

I found out today that the Kardashian babies are not just North, but also Chicago and Psalm. There's another one I forgot, but it's also just as dumb as the poor kid's parents.

#71

Jermaine Jackson named one of his sons "Jermajesty". Poor kid.

#72

I hate when parents name a child a big long first name and then say "but we are going to call him bubba" why didn't you just name him that?

#73

I met a girl named Anita. The problem is that her last name was Bath. She got married as fast as she could.

#74

X AE A-XII

#75

Themed names.
My sister has run her list of baby names by me before. She's not pregnant, but intends to have children one day.
"River, Sailor, and Ocean"
No.
Absolutely f*****g not.
I will not let my sister's children get bullied relentlessly for being named after a theme.
It's up there with people who name multiple children of theirs after characters from the same franchise.
Alright you can name your kid after a character that meant a lot to you. But don't have three kids and name them after other characters in the same show, alright, thats just f****n weird.

#76

ABCDE

#77

Maverick. They always have Mohawks too.

#78

Daenerys ? for OBVIOUS REASONS

#79

Stormi
….
Just Why

#80

Kayden and they're usually chavs

#81

Just wanted to say that my Uncle's dog's name is Eric

#82

Candida. Cool, you essentially named your child "yeast infection".

#83

Journee. I know a kid named that and all I can say is- the f**k?

#84

Any name that ryhmes with Tragedeigh

#85

Scooter.

#86

Malibu Barbie

#87

Skylar or Brooklyn.

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