Recently, a mom split the internet by revealing that she allowed her five-year-old daughter to bleach her hair. In a video that has gone viral, Demi Lucy May Engemann, who describes herself as the ‘CEO of cool mom’ in her bio, documented her and her daughter Maude’s trip to the salon to her TikTok followers, detailing that she let the youngster skip school to have a ‘girls day’ together.
The Utah-based content creator explained how she allowed Maude to get highlights after she had asked to “bleach her hair so she could put pink in it”. The 28-year-old mom then proceeded to film the mother-daughter hair appointment and show how the child “got so excited the minute she saw how blonde [her hair] was”.
The clip has already been viewed more than 14.4 million times, and reactions immediately erupted on the platform. Passionate TikTokers wasted no time sharing their opinions ranging from praise to criticism — while some saw it as a precious moment, others were quick to mom-shame the woman. Scroll down to see the video in full, as well as the heated debate that followed. Then be sure to decide where you land on the matter, and weigh in on the discussion in the comments.
Influencer Demi Lucy May Engemann recently documented her and her daughter Maude’s mother-daughter hair appointment
Image credits: demilucymay
The now-viral video shows how the mother allows her five-year-old daughter to get her dark blonde hair bleached
Image credits: demilucymay
The woman let Maude skip school to have a ‘girls day’ together, and she excitedly smiled throughout the process
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
The clip ended with Maude’s father seeing his daughter’s transformation, with Demi explaining he “didn’t recognize” his daughter at first
Image credits: demilucymay
Image credits: demilucymay
You can watch the full video, which got over 14.4 million views, right here
@demilucymay_ Here’s your sign to say “yes” more 🥹 pure joy! ##HausLabsFoundation##momsoftiktok##mommydaughter##hairtok##utah##thatgirl##thatgirlaesthetic##girly##hair##momtok ♬ Love You So – The King Khan & BBQ Show
Even though the footage shows Maude having a blast as she got to help mix dye, enjoy some snacks, and watch the stylist highlight her dark blonde hair, the response from the platform has been mixed. The video sparked a heated debate online, with one side deeming it a sweet and fun experience, and others jumping to the comments section to accuse Demi of damaging her daughter’s hair and foisting her beauty standards onto the child.
The fact that moms and dads face backlash online for their decisions is nothing new. After all, parenthood is an equally wonderful and challenging experience that lasts a lifetime. It’s a demanding job that is not for the faint of heart, as it does come with countless ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and a constant stream of advice and opinions from every direction.
When it comes to children and beauty treatments, it’s an especially delicate topic that causes quite a stir online. Some experts recommend parents wait until their children are older to bleach their hair. In an interview with Good Housekeeping, a New York-based dermatological surgeon Sejal Shah, MD, explained that because kids’ hair goes through many changes from birth to puberty, their hair and skin are more sensitive and therefore more likely to experience reactions.
“I really don’t think it’s safe to dye or bleach a child’s hair until after puberty, and ideally not until their late teens — at least 16,” Dr. Shah said.
The TikToker also shared some before-and-after videos of Maude showing off her new dyed strands
Image credits: demilucymay
The response on the platform has been mixed, with some people praising the mother and others criticizing her decision
Later on, Demi addressed the controversy in a follow-up video
Image credits: demilucymay
@demilucymay_ Replying to @christinamariedaniels #greenscreen ♬ original sound – DemiLucyMay
Well, Demi later insisted it was all Maude’s idea. The woman said she felt “exhausted” by all of the “mom shamers and trolls” who have criticized her for getting her daughter’s hair bleached.
“You can disagree, that’s fine,” she noted. “But the minute name calling starts or mom shaming starts based off one decision you disagree with — that’s where I’m going to put an end to that.”
Unfortunately, mom-shaming is more common than you’d think. From brutal comments in online parenting groups to random strangers who act like they know your child better than you, many mothers feel pressure from fellow adults. In fact, a poll conducted by the University of Michigan’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found that six out of 10 American mothers say they’ve been criticized for their parenting skills.
After surveying a nationally representative sample of around 475 mothers with kids ranging from newborns up to 5 years old, the research showed that many mothers were “shamed” for their parenting choices by different people in their lives, especially members of their own families. The most frequent areas of criticism include discipline (70%); diet and nutrition (52%); sleep (46%); breast- versus bottle-feeding (39%); safety (20%); and child care (16%).
There’s no one-size-fits-all option for parenting, yet some people believe that their way of doing things is better than anyone else’s. This sometimes resorts to mom-shaming, something that breeds insecurity and can shake a woman’s self-esteem and confidence. “When mothers can’t meet these unrealistic expectations, they are set up to be disappointed, feel like failures, or become insecure about their parenting abilities,” Laura Cipro, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, said on the KUTV Baby Your Baby podcast. “Data shows this can lead to an increase in rates of anxiety and depression in mothers.”
But why do some people feel this need to shame other parents over pretty much anything? Carly Snyder, MD, a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist, told Verywell Family that people who resort to mom-shaming do this to reinforce their own choices due to a deep sense of insecurity and fear. “Being mom-shamed isn’t indicative of anything beyond being in the company of critical people,” Dr. Snyder added.
“Often, the best thing to do is disconnect from the conversation. You don’t have to justify or explain your parenting to anyone — you’re doing your best,” she added. “The longer you are a parent and the more kids you have, the easier it often becomes to tune mom-shamers out. [This is] by virtue of realizing you’re doing your best and your kids are turning out pretty amazing despite the inevitable slip-ups we all have.”
Bored Panda reached out to Demi and will update the article as soon as we get a comment.
And here’s how people reacted
The post "I'm Honestly Exhausted": Mom Faces Backlash For Letting Five-Year-Old Daughter Bleach Her Hair, Sparks A Debate About Mom Shaming first appeared on Bored Panda.
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