Hey Pandas, What Is The Darkest Secret Your Family Has?

Families with secrets is common, but we want to see yours.

#1

My uncle had always been a raging alcoholic. A dangerous alcoholic. Well my aunt married him anyways. They went to Germany for their honeymoon. Only he returned. We asked about the aunt and he pretended like he had no idea what we were talking about and how he has "never gotten married". About five years later he married again despite us all trying to tell the woman not to. They went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Same thing. He came back without her. Again pretended like he's never married. We began suspecting he was killing them. We called the police. They investigated. Nothing turned up. And then the years later, he married again. But COVID happened and they haven't gone on a honeymoon. We're not sure she'd believe us if we told her. So we have distanced ourselves from my uncle and he remains as the secret we don't talk about. We don't talk about Bruno type situation

#2

My grandmother on my mom's side might be the shittiest person I've ever met. She treats me like c**p because I'm a teenager, a girl, and I remind her of my mom who she also tends to treat like c**p. She caused my uncle's divorce because she MOVED IN with him and his then wife because she's a hoarder and can't even live in her house anymore. She's completely ruined my youngest cousin and now he worships her in such a creepy way. She's also racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-vax, etc. I just hate her. And we can't find a way to cut ties because when we're in her state she finds a way to figure out that we're there and guilts my parents into visiting. I hate her so much.

#3

My moms brother and her dad secretly don’t like her but its sad because she loves them so much

#4

If you met my dad, you’d think he was a soft faced and gentle old doctor and a pretty cool guy for acting young, being a good father, living to fish and drink beer, and being willing to build you a deck. You’d think he loved God by the way he talks. Well, he’s a pedophile who spent my childhood grooming me. He exposed himself at me every day when I was little, and got unusually jealous whenever I showed a little skin in public as a teenager. The way he hugged and kissed me was creepy, and I was afraid to say no. He told me my developing body was making me more likely to be “sold into white slavery and a** r*ped” and that I’d be r*ped by strange men if I showed my shoulders or danced. Yeah, he was racist and sexist. And as a young adult who still didn’t understand, he apologized convincingly, then began using me to emotionally cheat on the wife he hates, treating me like a girlfriend. And then he’d try controlling me financially when I lost my job. He also beat, intimidated, and controlled my mother, who then took out her frustration on me. She told me I was ugly every chance she got. He told everyone that she was the crazy one. He wouldn’t let her have a job. He was verbally, emotionally, psychologically, financially, and sexually abusive to an extreme level, to the point I developed DID and nearly 60 alters as a result of how he treated all of us. When his wife got into an affair with a man who gave her a little escape, he cheated in revenge with a woman who had the same name as himself. Textbook narcissist womanizer. Then he cheated with a woman who was hideous, just because pitying her made him feel better about himself. Being her “hero” made him feel better about himself. She was none the wiser that it wasn’t her he was cheating for. He blamed my mother for the entire divorce. My mother wasn’t innocent, either. She brainwashed me like the fricken winter soldier. Used me as a weapon in the divorce. I really thought it was my fault. So I falsely confessed the divorce was my fault. As if a thirteen year old with autism could be a proficient manipulator. And he never stopped hating me. I was already the black sheep, but now it was so much worse. He often called me by my mother’s name when angry. He killed my pets on purpose. He kept buying pets, waiting for me to get attached, and then killed them. Over a hundred of them. I eventually stopped getting attached. I had nobody. When I finally understood that I was being mocked by my friends at school, I was alone. I cut everyone out to protect myself, and spent six years in isolation. He blamed me for all the bullying. Daily, he would say things so vile and cruel that I had to dissociate. When I told the school counselor I was suicidal, he showed up all goody two shoes to fix his reputation, and then when I got home, he called me things I wouldn’t repeat, and his new wife called me a traitor. His second wife had a vile, mannerless, cruel son, and I had to come home to the school bully every day. He and his two brothers would gang up on me. Then the kid did something messed up on a whole different level. He and his brothers cornered me in the garage. He did the unpardonable sin, and led the other two to do it, too. Basically eternal murder-suicide before my eyes. He was disappointed when I wouldn’t follow suit. But basically, I’ll never have a brother in heaven, which is my waking nightmare. When I found Christ, my parents became more and more cruel, and I just tried to be a good child despite it. When he wasn’t preoccupied with making my life a living hell, he just drank a lot of alcohol and avoided me. When he felt guilty, he’d buy gifts I don’t want I at of be there for me, listen to me, or God-forbid apologize. I suffer from DID, PTSD, self loathing, depression, anxiety, anger issues, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, and chronic insomnia. Nobody believed me or tried to save me for 21 years. So I cut him out, but he still harasses me. I wish I was never born.

#5

Trigger warning! VERY dark!

My mother and my father started dating when they were just 18.
My mother got pregnant soon after.
My grandmother made my mom ingest large doses of quinin every day (which is a big health risk by itself!), and inserted a small plastic item in her uterus.
This led - as planned- to a late misscariage on the toilet when my mom was about 20 weeks pregnant.
The baby boy was alive and „as big as a doll“ (quoting my mother).
She killed and dismembered the fetus and flushed the parts down the toilet.
Then she went back to sit at the table with the guests they had that day to have coffee and later dinner.
My mom grew to be as cruel and cold as her own mom.
She did s.th. similar to me, when I was just 15 and unfortunatelly got pregnant.
She and a gynecologist told me the baby was sick, and the pregnancy has to be terminated.
I believed them.
A few days later I had to go there, to get the abortion. My mom gave me an envelope with about (converted) 8000$.
The abortion has been performed without any kind of local anaesthesia.
I lost consciousnes a few times, they fastened me to the gyn chair.
Part of my soul will stay there forever.
The doctor forced me to take a good look at the destroyed embryo „so that I would never do what I did again!“
When I came home traumatised and in shock, my mom said, that „I should pull myself together and that she hat suffered so much more!“
Then she told me her abortion story.
I wish she never had told me.
Years later, when we had a fight, she dropped that my baby had been absolutely healthy.

#6

My grandfather, my Mom's Dad, was in the Merchant Marines in the 40's during WW2. He started out sailing the Atlantic but in the last 2 years they switched him to the Pacific.


It turns out that he was actually honorably discharged in July, 1945 and NOT November, 1945 like he'd told everyone.


He stayed in California for 4 months, unbeknownst to anyone, with a couple of buddies and crashed with them. To earn extra money to bring home, he made 3 porn movies. He was 32-33 at the time, a big, robust, good looking man.


He was married to my grandmother already and my Mom wasn't born until 1947, so they were childless still.


We never found any of this out until 1984, when my Dad got a hold of some VHS vintage porn from the 40's and watched it with my Mom. Back in those days (40's), even before and after, one of the common tricks they used was to make the participants wear half-masks to try and conceal identity.


My Mom recognized him right away though, despite the mask. He had a very distinctive tattoo on the inside of his lower left forearm, a specific birthmark on his lower right hip (which I have too) and also a jagged scar on his lower right calf from when he got hit by shrapnel on an Atlantic ship that had taken some hits but hadn't sank and limped to port years earlier.


A buddy of his was still alive at the time (1984) and still living in California, so my Mom got in touch. Sure enough, the friend (in his 70s) confirmed it and told her about the 3 movies. He starred in them himself and eventually sent her copies of the other 2 films.


In the other 2, he had brief speaking roles and she identified his voice along with the other body ID markers. My grandfather died in 1969, and my grandmother in 1983. According to my Mom, she was sure no one had any clue.


The money my grandfather earned helped to pay off the only car they had at the time and the rest helped to reestablish their nest egg.

So yeah, there's that one. I still have the VHS tapes but don't have a player anymore. I've never watched them, just kept them. Still don't know if I want to watch, LOL.

#7

I thought my dad had died but apparently he sent me away because I was born with a hearing problem and I wasn't perfect enough for him. I also didn't know I had a sister until four years ago, because my father decided that because my older brother was born, dear old dad could send my sister and I away, putting us both up for adoption. My mom got in the way though and managed to claim me, but I only recently got in touch with my sister and oldest brother, as we all met at Dad's funeral after he passed from cancer. I'm not sad that he's gone, but I don't hate him. He hated me, but I don't have a reason to hate him. I'm not sad though.

#8

My cousin is really my sister. My Aunt and Uncle couldn't have kids so my parents did for them.

#9

The darkest secret our family has is a few streaks of alcoholism here and there and the fact that we're so boring that don't have dark secrets.

#10

My stepdad was a known pedophile. He had more than one teen boy he “took in” and slept with in his bed, for years. He kissed me with tongue once when I was about 8. He used to watch my sister and I bathe, staring at us creepily. To this day my mom denies he was a pedophile despite what I’ve told her and the whole community believes. Also, my uncle killed a man.

#11

It’s actually f*cking awesome. Grandfathers great aunt by marriage ran the most notorious brothel in Sydney and had a lifelong fued with another brothel owner. She did go to the other madams funeral when she died, but as reported by the newspaper “just to make sure the old b***h stays in the ground”. The whole fued started over a dog breeding scam! RIP Tilly Devine

#12

My dad smoked drugs when i was 9-12 im 14 now and i think i
he might still do it

#13

That I was sexually abused for many many years by an uncle. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother, I was forced to keep it a secret so my grandmother wouldn't know the horrible thing her son had done. I'm still holding onto this to this day.

#14

My childhood home burnt down in 2009, when i was 8 years old, and my whole family knows the truth about what really happened that Day... Let's say the fire was un accidentaly accidetal...

#15

It’s not actually disturbing or anything but somehow the fact my great gran got admitted to a psyche ward because she became suicidal has become something no one talks about. She died 5 or so years ago and I only found out this year that 20 years ago she was admitted for a few months and both my mum and gran are really ashamed of this fact.

#16

My grandfather on my dad's side was one of the guards responsible for keeping the little rock 9 out of school, yet because he died when my dad was at a young age practically everyone in my dads side of the family consider him a hero. Another really messed up part of my dads side is the fact that they are all racist homophobes and my grandmother on my dads side talked about how she would punt stray cats. I don't like my dads side and try to avoid talking about them.

#17

The story as I was told is this... My grandmother, my mom's mom, came from a very poor family, and they lived away from town. She was asked to babysit, at the age of 15, by a couple from town. The "husband" picked her up, drove further into the country and raped her. It said that my great grandmother, after finding out what had happened to her daughter, tracked the man down and gutted him with a kitchen knife. My grandmother got Justice through her mother. The saddest part of the story, my grandmother had a baby from this rape. The baby girl was adopted by a couple they we're acquainted with and my grandmother was able to visit her daughter until she was around three or four years old. Im told the couple thought she was too close to the little girl and they up and moved away without telling anybody where they were going. My grandmother was an alcoholic most of her life due what had happened to her, but she always wanted to find her daughter. My mother being an "only" child , so she thought until about age 12 when one of her cousins blurted out that her mother was raped and had a baby. Which was rather devastating to my mom as well. My grandmother's has an identical twin. Her twin continued to look for her daughter up until she passed away. The daughter, my mom's sister, would be in her '80's now My mother also looked for her prior to her passing 17 years ago. If only the internet was a bigger better thing back then she would probably have found her quickly and could have possibly had a relationship with her. So that's the family secret. Very few know about what my grandmother did or about the baby. Only my grandmother's sisters knew.

#18

my grandmother's uncle was dressed up as a nazi soldier when he was a kid during ww2 in France during the occupation. Btw my family is french from Paris but has never had anything to do with nazis. Well, they never saw him again, they say he was probably killed by someone angry with the nazis, but we will never know, he could have joined the nazi party or been killed by the resistance

#19

I met my bio father in 2008. We met in person twice. We lived in different states. Met my 3 half sisters and 2 half brothers. We talked on the phone and wrote often. One day the calls stopped. Found out he was in prison for sexually abusing a few of his grandkids. I waited about 2 years to decide to write him. The day I went to look for the address to the prison I found his obituary and his funeral was that same day.

#20

Quite some secrets here.
- My mom and her sisters were abused by the same uncle when they we're little. No one believed my mom when she spoke back in the day, and her sisters never said anything until last year, I think.
- My grandad from my mom's side was a alcoholic and a violent person. He hit my grandma A LOT, and also hit my uncles when they we're little. Everyone in town knows him as a great and kind person, and the greatest friend.
- We don't know who my dad's father is. My grandma never said a word, never will. The man I call my grandpa on his side doesn't Even look like him. Other people know who my bio grandad is, but no one seems to remember the name. Also my dad doesn't care so idk who my actual grandad is and probably will never know.
- Word says my grandad from my dad found his wife sleeping with this other man and set her on fire, leaving her a huge very visible scar on her belly, chest and neck, almost to her face. He denies it all.
There's more, but it's getting quite long, so I'll leave it at that. Quite the family.

#21

So I know this isn't as good (or bad?) as some of the other stories but a few generations back two brothers fought over the civil war and never talked again. A few years later, a girl from the confederate side of the family and a boy from the union side met at a lets-forgive-and-forget-but-I-still-hate-you type family gathering. They fell in love and started a family (keep in mind they're some kind of cousins or something). Fast-forward a few generations and I'm named after that girl.

#22

hm... i would say this is more of a guess work, but considering much of my family is german, i'd say at least 1 was a nazi (during ww2 of course)

#23

My cousin married a serial killer, she had 2 boys with him and he tried to kill one of them.

#24

My uncle suffered from head trauma after falling off skyscraper during work, it messed him up really bad and lead to him turning to hard drugs.
He was mixing coke with PCP behind the families back.
Well one day when his soon to be be ex wife stopped by to talk to him about their 4 kids, he jumped into her car before she had chance to remove her seat belt and stabbed her to death over 36 times.
Afterward, he walked back into his apartment where his brother was and told him to call 911cuz he just killed the monster that was gonna take his kids from him

#25

A person in our family has committed multiple felonies and crimes (none of physical violence). Due to therapy, financial wealth, and cunning secretive behavior, they have never had to pay the price for their actions.

#26

I was raised by my mom, no dad in the picture. When I was a teenager, I guess my dad reached out to my mom to have contact with us (my brother and I). My mom asked us first if we wanted that, and my brother did, so I also agreed even though I didn't really care.

Well right before we met him for the first time, my mom told us that he was married when they were dating. He was cheating on his wife with her. I apparently have two half siblings, one is older than my brother and the other was born between me and my brother. (I still don't know if my mom knew about the wife while she was dating my dad.)

We stopped having contact with my dad only three months after starting contact. My brother invited him to his football game, but he didn't show up. I hate my dad for disappointing because my brother because he really wanted it to work out and to have a father.

I should note that I found out my brother asked my mom for my dad's contact information when my brother's wife was pregnant. He told my mom he wanted to see if there were any health problems on that side of the family that he should be worried about due to the pregnancy. My mom is pretty sure he just wanted to tell his dad that he was having a kid.

#27

Only a secret to me, because my whole family knew. My mom had been married before she met my father. When she got pregnant, they married and moved away so she could tell people that 9lb me was born prematurely. She never wanted me to know that she'd been married before, or that she was pregnant before she married my dad. I was raise to think divorce and pre-marital sex were wrong, period. Everyone kept her secret from me until after my parents passed away. I found the marriage license when cleaning out the house, and the date had been visibly altered. Then I was accidentally told about the first marriage by a cousin who assumed that I must have already been told (I was 41 years old by then). I had come to suspect that she lied about their wedding date, but I had zero idea about the first marriage.

#28

My Dad is a Sex Offender. The story he gave us was full of holes and the real story was revealed after my husband and I tried to adopt. He had attacked 2 women on two separate occasions. We have been no contact ever since and have been unable to adopt.

#29

Not really a secret, but we are related to Americas first serial killer, Boone Helm

#30

My brother joined the Marines at 17 to avoid jail and to be able to pay child support. He did both tours admirably but when we created his will, his son was so out of our knowledge that he specifically said his assets went to his named siblings. Only me and bro. We published probate and I dumpster dived to find my nephew but he is gone. At least I found his 1990's girlfriend that he left an annuity to.

#31

Buckle up, we're about to go on a crazy ride. First thing first, this was a secret only hidden from me.

A few decades ago, I met someone who seemed like the perfect match for me. We clicked so well, it almost seemed that we were destined for each other. We had several mental issues. It caused some strain, however we helped each other pull through it and we progressed further than anyone would've thought. At first, I took her mom's lead when things went bad (she had schizophrenia, bipolar and OCD). I thought sedating her was a simple way out. So, I tried talking her through it. Sedating her was a last resort for me. The more that happened, the better it got. Her Mom was told that she would never be able to live on her own and bought an apartment building, so she would have some illusion of Independence. However, the more I worked with her, you couldn't see a trace of any serious mental illnesses. The honeymoon period wore off. Honestly, I think I felt it earlier. But, I thought it would be too devastating for her to lose the relationship. I took some soul searching and remembered why I feel in love with her in the first place. It worked in a hundred fold. A couple years later, she felt that. Broke it off, with very few regrets (& not even giving a chance to rethink it). My little brother had a crush on her from his early teen years. He thought I didn't deserve her. He never saw her at her worst and thought she was always at her best (though, I don't mean anything negative for her at these points). Now, here's where it becomes relevant to this post. He started dating her. That information was kept from me for a couple years. I had some suspicions, but no answers. It was usually brought up in a side note, but carefully covered. I didn't know for sure until one of my friends asked me if we were on good terms (my brother and me). Now, I do feel bad, but I take some pleasure in this. Without the constant care, she has reverted back to where she was. Also, my brother can be on the selfish side, he left her.

#32

My cousin might be my brother. My dad has slept with both his brothers wife and my mum's step mum. Also my dad named me after one of his girlfriends.

Me, my sister and our two cousins all know this but none of my mum's sisters know. Also my dad doesn't know we know either. Once my cousins got drunk and decided the next day to drive like 200 miles demanding to get a DNA test from their dad (my uncle) to straighten things out.

They called me half way there and I was in therapy at the time so I just called my mum. She talked to them both and changed their minds, cause of everyone she's the most level headed (and hurt the most from all this). They arrived in their home city, got drunk again and drove back the next day.

#33

Me. I'm the first one in the family to have gone to prison.

#34

3 half siblings from Dad (older than us )but named the same as my brother and two sisters,

#35

I’m not allowed to tell

#36

Not really a secret as she had no trouble telling everyone, but my mom wanted to kill me and my brother and “bury em in the backyard” so there’s that

#37

Take your pick: The murderer, the murderer who got away, or the one who abused children to death (murdered) without suspicion.

#38

I was raised by my mom, no dad in the picture. When I was a teenager, I guess my dad reached out to my mom to have contact with us (my brother and I). My mom asked us first if we wanted that, and my brother did, so I also agreed even though I didn't really care.

Well right before we met him for the first time, my mom told us that he was married when they were dating. He was cheating on his wife with her. I apparently have two half siblings, one is older than my brother and the other was born between me and my brother. (I still don't know if my mom knew about the wife while she was dating my dad.)

We stopped having contact with my dad only three months after starting contact. My brother invited him to his football game, but he didn't show up. I hate my dad for disappointing because my brother because he really wanted it to work out and to have a father.

I should note that I found out my brother asked my mom for my dad's contact information when my brother's wife was pregnant. He told my mom he wanted to see if there were any health problems on that side of the family that he should be worried about due to the pregnancy. My mom is pretty sure he just wanted to tell his dad that he was having a kid.

#39

When I was 26 (I'm now 49), my mum confided in me that my brother had a wardrobe full of women's clothes. They were all too small for him to wear and we've not told anyone, not even him. Not sure why he had them...

#40

its not a very dark secret but my uncle was an alcoholic. also my grandma had her first kid at age 18

#41

I come from a long line of people that have worked hard to make this country great. From building our railroads to connect the west, to airplane engineers that helped build the planes to win World War II...

However, in recent years my family have turned into a bunch of self-serving people with multiple failed marriages and resentful children. I'm surprised I didn't end up a serial killer...

#42

I do not know. No one talks about it. But there HAS to be some really DARK secret.
It makes me mad.

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