90 Things We All Learn Way Too Late In Our Lives, According To This Thread

We all know that wisdom takes time. Just like when you’re a child and burn yourself with an oven, only to realize some surfaces are hot and you'd better stay away from them, so are the other things that require years of constantly learning through your own experience.

So when someone asked a seemingly simple question “What do people learn too late?” on r/AskReddit it immediately resonated with everyone. With 76.4k upvotes and almost 20k comments, we have some of the most illuminating answers below.

From protecting your ears from loud music if you don’t want tinnitus for the rest of your life, to realizing that salary is not the entirety of an equation when it comes to your job satisfaction, these are the things people wish they hadn’t learned the hard way but known it from the beginning.

#1

Learning when to say no.

Learning how to apologise when it's your fault, and how to not apologise when it's not your fault.

Image credits: OneSalientOversight

#2

The value of walking away from someone toxic in your life, even if it is your parents and family. If you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place, then do it. It hurts like hell for a long while, but it gets better and one day you realize how peaceful your life is and you find you only miss the family you wish you had had.

Image credits: irishmuminacoldland

#3

What not to share on the internet.

Image credits: DetectiveBowtie

#4

You're not obliged to have children of your own. You can be happy and fulfilled without reproducing.

Image credits: bumtrinket

#5

Don’t worry if you aren’t living an exciting or extravagant life. It’s okay to live simply and quietly. It doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life.

Image credits: xxmzie_13

#6

Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.

Image credits: -eDgAR-

#7

How to manage their finances.

Image credits: KreamoftheKropp

#8

That it's possible to do everything right and still lose. Just life innit.

Image credits: KaasmoKraymah

#9

The value of a good/unconditional friend.

Image credits: nowittynameavailable

#10

That you might be wrong sometimes. Some never learn.

Image credits: FairlyUnoriginal

#11

A cat on his back inviting a chesty rub is a trap.

Image credits: Poops_McClanahan

#12

Take care of your teeth.

Image credits: BecomingSavior

#13

That mental & emotional abuse are a real thing .

Red flags .

#14

That it's never too late to learn.

Image credits: j4yf3rb

#15

That hating people who are different makes you nothing but unhappy.

Image credits: JazzerBee

#16

That some things can never be undone.

The actions you take and the words you speak will come back around sooner or later.

Image credits: sherrymirza

#17

How dangerous driving a car can be.

Image credits: Wendigogod27

#18

How soul crushing, unproductive, impotent and wasteful worrying about things is.

#19

That's being wrong and changing your mind is actually nothing to be ashamed of.

Image credits: SA_DrOpossum

#20

How short life is.

Image credits: snowmanseeker

#21

That the cliche "you never know when it's the last time you'll see to someone" should absolutely be remembered for every occasion. My best friend just died in a car accident this past Saturday, and the last time I saw him we got in an argument and he left and we didn't speak after that. I'm destroyed by it

Image credits: Jew-Barrymore

#22

Saying “I love you” or wanting to reach out to your family, friends, and loved ones, but crippling anxiety stops you. You never know when it may be too late to say these things, so be in the moment, and live/love in the present authentically.

Image credits: whatthedeafearhears

#23

Interest rates, credit cards, credit score, money saving techniques, 401K. In other words anything that keeps you from being trapped by poor money management.

Image credits: TheLivingBubba

#24

How to communicate.

Image credits: create_and_grow

#25

That they are terrible at parenting.

Image credits: mealteamsixty

#26

Social media can consume your life. It’s not all real, and not everyone posting pictures is having a great time, and not every “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SHOULD CATCH UP” is genuine.

Image credits: Scarlaire

#27

Pulling out is not an effective method for birth control.

Image credits: echohelloworld

#28

That being a parent is not always "the most rewarding thing in the world".

Image credits: morgisartre

#29

Setting and respecting boundaries, how to give a genuine apology, and other such communication 101 skills.

#30

The importance of education. As a kid your always hear generic statements like, "This will help your career" but nothing specific enough to be useful.

#31

Don’t ever think it’s ok to “talk” to yourself in a manner you wouldn’t let another human being talk to you.

The biggest abuser I ever had in my life, was my constant companion: the thoughts in my head.

We often take care to choose our words when correcting a child or friend... but if anyone had talked to me, the way I talked to me for 30 straight years, I would have murdered them... and probably got away with it too.

Be nice to yourself, you’re the only you, you have.

Image credits: Debaser626

#32

To appreciate their youth.

Image credits: [deleted]

#33

Sitting on your ass all day is not good for your health at all.

Image credits: poopellar

#34

Many college degrees have no job market.

Trade school is a financially solid option out of high school.

#35

Knowing when to NOT be nice.

#36

That being mean to people will get you nowhere.

#37

That happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests, hobbies, and commitments. You are not your job. Your romantic partner cannot be your everything, etc. It's so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close. And there is nothing wrong with caring about your job...you just need more to thrive. I see this so often in relationships. Two people meet and fall in love. They each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements, it's part of what makes them fall in love. But slowly, over time, they let those hobbies go. Stress gets in the way. Bills pile up. And then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever loved this person in the first place. Instead of being sexy and interesting they're just part of a routine.

TLDR: Diversify your interests and activities to be happy. Don't rely on a single person, hobby, or commitment to give you everything you need.

Image credits: 5dognowfive

#38

Money is a tool, not a life goal.

#39

"Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everybody that helps you is not your friend." - Mike Tyson

#40

There aren't actually any hot singles in your area.

Image credits: ABViper

#41

Failure happens and its part of a learning process. Never be afraid of failing. In the same line being wrong about something and changing your mind is okay.

#42

Active listening

#43

How to emotionally regulate

#44

That nobody will be a better advocate for you than yourself. Especially when it comes to your health. Mental AND physical health. Don't wait for somebody else to do it. You'll have to do it yourself eventually.

Image credits: whileurup

#45

You are the master of your own head. The big boss of braintown. The alpha of beta thoughts.

You shouldn't let stray thoughts or feelings control your life. It's perfectly okay to disconnect yourself from them and control your mental state.

You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness of your thoughts.

Too many people these days don't understand that. They let their thoughts control them, unquestionably. The ability to tell your own brain "Hey, f**k off, stop doing that" is so irrevocably powerful that it's frustrating how many people don't understand that you can do that. I think it's a realization that has to come through your own little epiphany.

#46

You are your biggest limitation.

Image credits: AtilaMann

#47

College isn’t the only option.

#48

That your parents are in fact people too

you cant help someone if they dont want it.

#49

How to use their turn signals in a car...

#50

The anger and arguments over petty things was a waste of time.

#51

The sun is the worst thing for your skin, it burns you, causes cancer, and gives you wrinkles. SPF is your friend.

#52

How to relax and enjoy life without taking yourself too seriously

#53

That friendships and relationships should never be so difficult to be in that it drains you of joy or throws you into depression.

And if you are that depressed friend that keeps losing connections with meaningful people, it’s never too early to get help. Even if you think you can beat it, it’s temporary, or you don’t deserve it.

Toxicity in any person is inevitable as people grow and change. What separates the toxic people from others is that they refuse to or are unable to recognize their own toxic patterns and cannot change their toxic behaviors when they negatively impact others. Unlearn your own issues. Do self work. You’re always going to be better for it.

#54

To not stick (insert object) into (insert different, dangerous object)

#55

How to not give a [damn] about how others see you.

Seems simple enough for me now in my 20s, but back in high school there were many f**ks given about how others saw me. Ironically, those people that didn’t care how others saw them were often the more respected ones.

#56

That it's more important to appreciate your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like.

#57

That they are responsible to unf**k their lives. No one else.

#58

To protect their ears, you don't want to live with tinnitus for the rest of your life because you were exposed to a loud noise once

Image credits: NapoleonBlownApart1

#59

Mistakes have consequences. Sometimes they are huge consequences, such as a mistake while driving could kill yourself or someone else. Sometimes they’re little consequences. But always learn from your mistakes and that you should always be learning and improving yourself.

#60

To stop being afraid of asking or pursuing the things you want in life

#61

That brussels sprouts are good. And so is asparagus. And every other vegetable if you prepare it properly.

#62

Self-Control and Compassion. It goes a long way.

#63

That salary amount is not the entirety of an equation when deciding where to work. You have to take into account the cost of living, commute times, the safety of the nearby area, and the convenience of living in the area.

Studies have shown that taking a 20 minute longer commute is as bad for your job satisfaction as a 19% pay cut.

On top of that, wealth = money in - money out. If a new job pays 20k more, but if rent/property prices are 30k more per year, you are taking a paycut.

On top of that, you have to consider your future. Do you have to move to an undesirable location to work there? Crammed in a little apartment where the nearest services are an hour away? What about air quality? What about noise levels? Is this a place where you want to start a family and raise kids?

All of those play a factor in determining the desirability of a job. I am a firm believer that "my job doesn't exist outside this city" is a bulls**t myth. Even if you're a super specialized rocket scientist with a PhD in orbital dynamics, NASA is not the only organization with a job opening for you.

#64

That most people will just help you, how and if they can, if you are honest with them

It seems like so many people feel the need to conceal what they actually want from you, and try to get it by presenting a half-truth or what they think you want to hear instead of just being straight forward.

Image credits: pdxblazer

#65

Take responsability for your stuff.

#66

There are no rules. There are laws, but there are no rules. You can do anything you wasn’t however you want. Don’t be afraid to let go once in a while and have ice cream for dinner, or stay up all night. You can live your life how you want and there’s no rule that says you can’t.

#67

Not to believe everything on the internet.

#68

The importance of writing skills for formal contexts.

Writing is an important skill in nearly any field and the more a career advances the more important it becomes. The lack of adequate writing skill often holds back a career.

Yet many people squander their opportunities to learn writing because they think their class assignments are empty busy work and they figure their skills in spoken English and informal text messages will carry over when they need to write for work.

#69

Don’t ignore that box of red flags next to the person you’re dating. I mean seriously - they’re in their house/apartment, their car, hell - their friends even wave them at you sometimes. Ok their parents help hide them if they like you but still.

Stop acting like you don’t see them. Just stop

#70

That you came to this planet with only one thing - your body; and you should take good care of it. If you take good care of it all other problems become much smaller and tackle able.

#71

Their limits when it comes to drinking alcohol.

#72

Figuring out my career.

#73

Silence is golden.

Seriously, the amount of people who spout crap that no one cares about, just to hear themselves talk...

#74

Impulse buying control. So much [stuff] in my house that I wish I could go back in time and not buy it in the first place

#75

Try to be sceptical of everything and ask for proof.

So you dont fall for scams like giving money/help/awards to ppl faking illnesses,as alot of reddit learned the hard way this week.

#76

Navigate conflicts without escalation and reaching a mutually desired outcome. Very important if you want to have and maintain a long term relationship.

#77

When they are in the good times. It's only when you look back and reminisce that you realise how good you had it.

#78

The deflector shield will be quite operational.

#79

You don’t need your ears to listen to yourself.

#80

Discipline.

#81

Never trust a fart.

#82

Don't borrow money

#83

That it's okay to enjoy yourself in college when you are still young.

Safe fun of course.

Your experience helps you in life and grades aint s**t if you come out graduated with no clue how real life and people work.

#84

How slippery a slope addiction is. How quickly trying something at a party turns into being hooked.

#85

not to cheat on their partners

#86

Save your god dam money

#87

Two words: Flared base

#88

That Covid-19 is real.

#89

Maturity.

I have many subjects that I'm passionate about, and I seek out places to discuss but even if I meet someone that completely disagrees with me, it's not my job or my desire to change their opinion or even discuss the subject with them when it has nothing to do with that relationship.

And sometimes I'm absolutely terrible at following that rule.

I'd always rather make friends than enemies. It's tempting to make an "other" out of someone, but labeling someone a "libtard/drumpfer" reduces them to one subject matter and makes you lose out in what could be a valuable relationship that builds both of you up.

That being said, there are toxic people everywhere so have caution and prudence, but do your best to never dehumanize.

#90

That there is no way a country can have a strong economy if there's no support to science and education. Scientists are normal people who work their ass off to have a workplace, funding and their jobs taken seriously

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