They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation's finest export. I know, you think it's scotch, but scroll through this list and then we'll talk.
The subreddit r/ScottishPeopleTwitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like "maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate" and "Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda" and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.
#1 Well That’s Us Screwed
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#2 We Love Arbroath
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#3 What Freedom Is Aw Aboot
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#4 Clever Cat
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#5 Pizza Time
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#6 Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?
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#7 Xmas Miracle
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#8 What Windows?
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#9 Eloquently Put
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#10 On The Bus
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#11 Our Government
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#12 Vegan Scottish Cuisine
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#13 Very Fair Point
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#14 Maccies
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#15 He's Been Well Done There
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#16 And One For Yourself Bartender
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#17 Wholesome
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#18 We All Need A Little Confidence Boost
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#19 A Record To Be Proud Of
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#20 Quick Take On The Scottish Play
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#21 Mad Stoater
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#22 Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair
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#23 Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)
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#24 Wean's First Tooth
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#25 Absolutely Out Of It
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#26 Stating The Obvious
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#27 Fs John, Too Soon
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#28 This Is Madness
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#29 Aye Just A Wee Side Note
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#30 Just To Be Safe...
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#31 True Happiness
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#32 Yer Da Does The Washing
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#33 It's That Easy
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#34 Mask Up, Ya Bams
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#35 Ye Nugget
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#36 Genitals!
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#37 Da-Da-Da-Da!
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#38 Platinum Next X
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#39 Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland
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#40 Nevermind X
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#41 Goths Are A Dying Breed
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#42 Frankie Doesn't Care
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#43 Our Currency Is The Best!
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#44 He’s Gonna Go Far
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#45 Something Not Right About That Soap
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#46 Good Thinking Wee Man
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#47 Fair Enough
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#48 In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece
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#49 A Junkie's Wisdom
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#50 Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
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#51 Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately
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#52 Shavin A Tattie
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#53 Didnae Get Far Did Ye
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#54 Hunner Percent
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#55 Life, Eh, Finds A Way
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#56 Expectations vs. Reality
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#57 You Still There?
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#58 Brick That Thing
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#59 10/10
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#60 I Remember My First Bus Journey
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#61 Another Breed Of Spastic
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#62 Dilf Hunter
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#63 Too Right
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#64 A Massive Lad
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#65 I Think Frankie’s Onto Something
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#66 Glasgoths
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#67 Absolute Fact
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#68 Absolute Unit
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#69 Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
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#70 Who The Fuck You Talkin Tae
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#71 Big Note
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#72 Scottish Clothes Shops
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#73 It’s Tradition.
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#74 Half Pizza Crunch Supper...
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#75 Fuck The Tories
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#76 The Force Is Strong In This Wan.
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#77 Cheers Gran
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#78 Best. Dad. Ever
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#79 Double Scottish
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#80 Merry Christmas Every Cunt
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#81 Dexter The Dug
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#82 ‘Hink That’s Fair Enough
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#83 Solid Plan
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#84 All Those Hypotheticals
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#85 My Wee Angle
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#86 Where Are You From?
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#87 Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles.
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#88 Outstanding Patter
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#89 Good Tae Know
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#90 Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots.
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#91 Exam Advice
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#92 Papa Can You Hear Me?
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#93 Gotta Love Scottish Patter
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#94 Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid
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#95 Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine
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#96 These Flowers Are A Mystery
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#97 We Used To Be Accountants Really.
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#98 It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left
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#99 Hotland
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#100 Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem
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#101 Aye
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#102 Sounds More Like The 30!
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#103 Absolute Genius
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#104 You’ll Fucking Pay Him For It N All
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#105 Clean Up On Aisle 4
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#106 "Av Not Got Fuckin Dementia"
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#107 Speeding Ostrich
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#108 Good Luck At School Today .
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#109 Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo
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#110 Manbat ??
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#111 Honesty's The Best Policy.
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#112 Two Faced C**ts
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#113 Who's The Lucky Girl?
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#114 Worky Dug
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#115 Gonnae No Call Me That
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#116 Suns Oot Mirrors Oot
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#117 Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere
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#118 Scottish Panda
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#119 Just Subbed Tae Isis
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#120 Proud As Punch
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#121 Fuckin Tube
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#122 Sex Is Sacred
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#123 Guys Dont Use Tinder Its Shite
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#124 Ye Ma Takes Length
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#125 Old But Gold
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#126 Fishsticks
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#127 At Least They Voted!
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#128 Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes
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#129 She Was Lucky
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#130 Happy Birthday To Big J
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#131 Security To Get A Munch
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#132 A Wee Fanny
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#133 Lightning Lizzie
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#134 8 Year Olds...
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#135 Absolute Roaster
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#136 Uncle Dug
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#137 ✌️✌?✌?✌?✌?✌?
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#138 Pretending Aye?
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#139 Being A Dad Has Its Perks
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#140 Fucking Yanks
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#141 Life Must Be Good Being A Dug
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#142 Meanwhile In Edinburgh...
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#143 Some Good Financial News!
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#144 Shame
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#145 Constant Struggle
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#146 Beautiful.
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#147 Sair Heid?
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#148 Thats No Hapnin
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#149 The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men.
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#150 Busted
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