Their Flight Left 2 Hours Ago
Went To Open My Fridge. Definitely Thought My Hand Was Connected Properly
Stuck His Head In A Hole In A Tree To Take A Look, Guess What He Found
Can I Get My Money Back
The Cable Guy Installed The Cable Through Our Hula Hoop That We Left Out
Car Park Barrier Closed Before The Trailer Got Through
So This Guy Paused A Video Of A Model He Wanted To Look Like And His Barber Mistook The Play Button Icon With His Desired Hairstyle And Shaved Triangles On Both Sides Of His Head
Me, My Sister And My Best Friend (From Left To Right) At Our Graduation Trip. Fun Stuff
Waited Almost 14 Years For This Moment, And Of Course I Missed It
He Saw A Squirrel And Dragged Me Through The Mud On My Ass
I’ve Been Using The Complimentary Towel At My Apartment’s Swimming Pool. Someone Just Told Me It’s A Towel For Wet Dogs
My Brand New Roomba Ran Over My Puppy’s Shit And Proceeded To “Clean” The Rest Of My Home
Threw My Swatter At A Fly. Don’t Ask Questions Because I Don’t Have Answers
My Roof Caved In Last Night
When The Snowplow ‘Nicks’ Your Car
Machine Crashing After Winning The Jackpot
Some Musicians Just Aren’t Smooth
Uh Oh
This Is What A $239 Textbook, Never Opened And Still In Plastic, Looks Like After Being Returned To The Same Bookstore That I Purchased It From
Bet She’s Glad She Bought That Tire Cover
I Proposed To My GF This Weekend And Proceeded To Drop The Ring Down A Gopher Hole
Life Must Be Hard For Him
Poor Megan
This Big Guy And Three Of His Friends Got Into A Newly Built Montana House And Proceeded To Live There For A Month Before Being Found
A Woman Put 1.5 Gallons Of Windshield Washer Liquid Instead Of Oil
I Asked To Have It Edged Up So My Bangs Would Be Straight. Proceeded To Cut All My Bangs Off And My Entire Widows Peak. White Guy At A Black Barbershop Problems
I Came In To Find My Tortoise Like This
Pricey Chew Toy
So Excited To Use My Pizza Cutter For The First Time
Kids Playing With Fire Hose During Coast Guard Demo
He Doesn’t Know It Yet. Sorry, Bro
Found A Worm In My Lunch
Your Day May Have Been Bad, But It’s Probably Not As Bad As ‘I Tipped Over A Satellite And It’ll Cost $135 Million To Fix’ Bad
“Made iPhone Cookies To Trick Cops Into Pulling Me Over, I’ll Just Take A Bite And Ask If Cookies Are Against The Law”
My Snowglobe Acted As A Magnifying Glass And Burnt A Line Into My Curtain
The F Fell Off My Ford Fiesta Flame. Now I Drive A Ford Fiesta Lame
My Friend Doesn’t Have A Screen On Our Flight To China Despite Everyone Else Having One
I Lost My ****
When Your Snickers Bar Taunts You
Siberian Summer
ATM Shut Down With My Card In It
Damn
A Storm Came Through. The Plastic Furniture Barely Moved But The Grill Blew 30 Ft Into The Pool
A Small Crash Revealed Just How Much Make Up She Had On
Was Given A Heat Sensitive Mug For A Work Meeting
Rip Random Pedestrian. These Are Dark Times
Fridays Aren’t For Everyone
Put My Visor Down In The Side To Block The Sun
In Colorado, Due To Rock Fall, A 20 Mile Stretch Of Highway Now Has A 238 Mile, 4,5 Hour Detour
When You Hit A Pot Hole On The Highway Doing 70 MPH
How To Make Me Spend $60 Ft. My Dog
Best Vacation Ever
Oh No
My Friend Works As A Cleaner Here
Bitcoin Mining Farm Gets Flooded
And I Thought I Hated Daylight Savings Time
Finally Gave In And Let My Daughter Get A Cat. Turns Out She’s Allergic
Finally Brought My Girlfriend To What I Promised Her Was The Best View She Would Have Ever Seen
My Favorite Wedding Photo. I Got A Bubble In My Eye While We Were Leaving
New Road Was Not Sealed Correctly. The Result
Trying To Even Out My Tan On My Lunch Break
My Grandmother Almost Got Lost At Sea In Iceland
Good Morning And Happy Valentine’s Day! Why Not Start Your Day Off With A Turmeric Smoothie?
Accidentally Texted My Kids Teacher
Cut My Finger While Opening A Package Of Band Aids
How My Pizza Arrived
Women’s Pockets Suck
My Dad Bought A Soap From A Charity In 2016 And Only Today Opened The Box. Look What Was Inside! P.S. My Dad Is A Huge Football Fan
Got Excited From Far Away About The Motel Having A Swimming Pool
Just Drove To Class Early In The Morning Through Pouring Rain And Shitty Traffic After Sleeping Three Hours Last Night Only To Find This. How’s Your Morning Going?
Sister Didn’t Mention That Her Dogs Have Fleas When I Said I’d Watch Them For Her
Thought I Was Charging My Computer For A 6 Hour Road Trip. Guess Not
How The Mailman Delivered The Vinyl I Ordered
Dropped A Brand New Gallon Of Milk. As A Bonus, I Also Got A Flat Tire Today
Don’t You Just Hate It When Your Entire Sink Collapses
The Way The Corner Of The Table Found My Pocket
Whoever Threw A Sink Into My Car Last Night
Yesterday This Guy Put Ghost Pepper Popcorn In Our Industrial Microwave At Work For Over 5 Min
The Door I Had To Get Through Last Night To Get To My Room
Dude Lost His Shoe Right As The Subway Doors Closed
Heard A Crash, Knew My Whole Sunday Was Ruined
Crashed Car And A Parking Ticket
First Thing Monday Morning At My Shower Door Installation Job
Guess Who Thought The Soy Sauce Was Syrup This Morning
Guy’s Neighbors Left Their Car Windows Open Overnight
After Two Weeks Of Excited Waiting We Open Our New TV And There Is A Nice Gift Waiting For Us
Aston Martin Was Worth $1.5 Million
This Is Why I Drink
I Imagine This Person Just Went Straight Home And Spent The Weekend In Bed
Our $1000 TV Just Got Shipped In
Took My Buddy To The Grand Canyon For The First Time Today. Spectacular Views All Around
At Work We Had A Power Outage, $10,000 Worth Of Ice Cream Fits In One Dumpster
My Husband Works In A Liquor Store And Just Sent Me This Picture
Anyone Curious What Happened After That Guy Ripped His Pants At The Wedding. I’m His Wife
The Insurance Adjuster Fell Through My Dad’s Ceiling
When You’re Trying To Put A 600 Pound Piece Of Tempered Glass In And You Hit A Tiny Piece Of Metal On The Corner. (Sounds Like A Gun Shot When It Explodes)
My Brother’s Cabin (Which Is Now His Home In The Midst Of A Nasty Divorce) In Northern CA. Took Him 5 Miles On A Snow Mobile To Find This After Leaving Town For A Week
Someone Out There Is Having A Really Bad Day That’s Worse Than Ours
Playing Truth Or Dare
Not Cleaning My *** With This
When You Have To Slam On The Brakes
My Cat Couldn’t Get To His Litter Box Because The Toilet Door Was Forgotten Closed At Night, So He Spilt The Litter Bag Himself And Pooped On It
Today I Climbed A Mountain And Was Rewarded With This Incredible View
Car Crashed Into My Living Room
I Dropped A LEGO House I Built 10 Years Ago Down The Stairs
My Lunch Hour Ends At 12:00
A Truck Drove On Turf I Layed Yesterday
Tried To Make Brownies
The Right Car Is Mine. I Physically Could Not Enter My Car. And Since The Batteries In My Key Ran Dry, I Could Not Open Any Doors But The Drivers Door From The Outside
My Minesweeper Game
My Pillow Said “Washing Machine And Dryer Safe” I Open Up My Dryer To This
**** Happens
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